Alcohol and Drug Abuse

During one of his recent sermons, my pastor Mike Frans put up a slide for the congregation to examine. It was a photo of a corporate conference room, with a dozen people seated around a large table. In the room was an elephant. Nobody was paying any attention to it. Whether intentionally or not, no person in the conference room wanted to deal with the fact of the elephant.

For me, the elephant in the room was a good visual for recognizing “denial.” Maybe if I ignore it, the elephant will go away. Perhaps if I appease it by offering a few peanuts it will have the good sense to understand my needs and allow me to continue my work. Nobody else is saying anything about the elephant. Maybe they do not see it. In that case, I’ll say nothing. Then again, it may not be there at all if I close my eyes. It could be a baby elephant. That would not be so bad.

Denial is a tough and brutal enemy, because it does not allow us to confront the problem, find a solution, or give us any hope of recovery. A while back a woman was trying to convince me that denial was relative. She insisted that a person who does not see a problem is not in denial because they do not believe there is a problem. No amount of evidence makes any difference.

If my life is out of control, my relationships are broken or damaged, my job is gone and I am having health problems as a result of my drug use, and if I am the only person that does not see it, that’s denial.

People always think they can handle it. They can quit any time. They will not become addicted. They deny the problem. That’s why the first of the 12 Steps starts out by stating,

“We admitted…” Step 1 is about getting over denial. What does this mean? It means that I see the elephant in the room, I acknowledge it and I realize that if I do not remove the elephant in the room (drinking and/or using), cleaning up the mess will be a major task. After all, you have to feed the elephant and its droppings are not pleasant. Still, denial is powerful and people will actually choose to live with the elephant rather than admitting its existence.

Denial robs us of opportunity. Let’s say your “elephant” is tiny, a new born. By not admitting that the problem is there, that your control is slipping, that the potential for disaster is looming around the corner, there is not way you’re going to address the issue and find a strategy to deal with it. Alcoholism/addictions, like elephants, can grow in to very large problems. Denial is also myopic and arrogant. I do not see it, so you’re wrong. You ca not possibly be right, because that would mean that I’m wrong and we ca not have that.

Denial stunts all personal growth. Health issues aside, by feeding the elephant instead of our soul, we stagnate as a person. We stop moving forward. There is no room for reason, for stretching one’s understanding or reaching out to others. There is no room for development. The alcohol and drugs keep us trapped in one place, to feed the elephant and limits human potential.

Sometimes one of the people in the room exclaims, “Let’s get rid of the elephant.” Others may agree and say, “Yes, the elephant is getting in the way and we do not want to deal with it.” However, if the elephant is yours, you say, “Oh no, you’re wrong. You’re being hateful. Stop judging me. You have no right to say there’s an elephant in the room.” If denial takes a strong foothold, they you and your elephant may be asked to leave the room.

Overcoming denial leads to restoration. It is the beginning of the process, and the beginning of a new and exciting period of self-discovery and examination. You do not need the elephant. Nobody else wants the elephant. Get rid of your denial elephant and get back to your place at the conference table. Start Step One:

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

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Other medical issues:

Many people develop a drug and/or alcohol problem when recovering from major surgery. One woman wrote to us after having a hysterectomy and mesh inserted to hold her organs up.She was in so much pain she started using prescription medication to try to control it. Her surgery went so badly she is involved in a national transvaginal mesh lawsuit. She was also a heavy alcohol user, which was exacerbated by the pain from the surgery and the problems with the mess that was installed.

Thankfully, she got help and is now in recovery, so help is possible if:

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

Overcoming denial leads to restoration. It is the beginning of the process, and the beginning of a new and exciting period of self-discovery and examination. You do not need the elephant. Nobody else wants the elephant. Get rid of your denial elephant and get back to your place at the conference table.

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ABOUT…

SYMPTOMS…

CAUSES…

TREATMENT…

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