Alcohol Problems

Alcohol Problems

I tried 12-Step. It didn’t work.

Either 12-Step does not work, or the person did not allow it to work. Most often when I hear the statement; “12-Step doesn’t work,” it is delivered with a rather negative verbal affect. The message that I receive is more “I dare you to help me” than it is a cry for help. “Sure, come on down and fix me. Here I am.”

There are many ways to approaching alcohol abuse and alcoholism, so 12-Step may not be the desired course for everyone. The idea that alcoholism is a disease that requires a spiritual awakening to overcome is not appealing to those to oppose any form of spirituality. There are programs for everyone, so forget the spiritual side and enroll in a program that appeals to your sensibilities.

12-Step has been used by over 250 self-help groups since first coming on the American scene in the late 1930’s. Many people believe that 12-Step is strictly a “Christian” program, but many of those 250 self-help groups that use 12-step are by no means Christian. There are groups designed to help people of all faiths. Millati Islami, for example, reaches out to Muslims suffering from alcoholism.

Before dismissing 12-step, maybe it’s better to do a little internet research and Google 12-step recovery, or 12-step program, etc. and see the many groups that are using the program to help millions of people.

A person needs to find the right setting. If a person is not Christian, and does not frame his religious understanding in terms of Christian theology, it stands to reason that any expression of Christian faith would be rejected. That’s why Bill W’s friend told him to come up with his own understanding of God (The Big Book, Chapter 1 “Bill’s Story”).

On the other hand, the Christian would immediately understand that Father, Son and Holy Spirit are the God referred to in the third step.

The steps imply a trusting relationship with a power greater than ourselves. People of faith attribute this power to God. In secular terms, that power greater than yourself must be defined in another way. Is it the love and support of friends, family and therapists? Is it having a sponsor or mentor to help you through the rough times? Or are you alone?

If a person is alone and cannot overcome alcoholism unless he himself pulls himself up out of the clutches of that alcoholism, then the 12-step makes no sense. If there is no power greater than one’s self, the 12-step will not work.

But if there is a power out there that a person can trust and submit to, then there is hope. You can pick and chose which steps make sense, and that might yield some benefit, as there is wisdom in each step.

If the 12-step doesn’t work, chose another path. The important point is to get help with your alcoholism. If people have given up on 12-step, the chances are very high that they have also given up on God.

If they have given up on God it is likely that they have no foundational understanding of God, other than their own intellectual or emotional construct. The implied partnership in the steps is, therefore, not working because there is a one-sided relationship going on.

A woman who had been in and out of recovery for many years, told me that it wasn’t that the 12-steps didn’t work, but that she had trouble allowing that power greater than her to gain any significant place in her heart and mind.

“I submit, then I take it back and try to do it myself,” she said.

I believe the lack of success, in many cases, is attributed to pride and stubbornness more than any other factor.

Whether agnostic, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist or Christian, the 12-step program has helped countless addicts overcome their disease. It has staying power because it does work.

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