Gratitude

Guest Blog by

Michele Wahlder, MS, LPC, PCC

Our language dramatically influences our emotional well-being and mental outlook, thereby affecting our behaviors and actions. Why not use language that is uplifting, empowering and grateful to positively transform the way we view ourselves, the world and other people? If we want to feel passionate, prosperous and purposeful, we must start by recognizing what we already have to be grateful for. If we have a tendency to focus on what we are lacking, our brain is conditioned to continue to focus on what we lack, therefore producing more lack.

When we choose to describe our circumstances and our world with the language of gratitude, we embrace the abundance and limitless possibilities available to us. Consequently, as we create more to be grateful for, more possibilities come our way due to our positive attitude and optimistic expectation. What we focus on expands through the law of attraction. When we use appreciative words rather than critical words, we empower ourselves to view the world from a perspective of prosperity rather than scarcity. When we feel prosperous, we feel full and are thereby able to give from a place of abundance rather than obligation.

Example #1. I have a very small kitchen, I keep saying I would cook more if my kitchen was larger and I had more room. The truth is, I have a perfectly roomy space for cooking. The problem is that I have focused my mind on what I lack. If only I had an island, a large counter top, a new stove, I would be happy cooking. What I am missing is the abundance of love, fun and connectedness my family could experience cooking together, sharing meals and talking in the kitchen. We are missing the fun of entertaining and hosting holiday celebrations. Now, I have brought to my awareness that I lack now not only a spacious kitchen but also the connection I could be having in the kitchen with my family, which leads to a feeling of loneliness and scarcity. My initial thought of not having a kitchen that that is good enough, big enough or new enough has now expanded my total feeling of “not having enough” in life: enough family time, connectedness, rituals etc. One thought can spiral our thinking down a path of victimhood.

Every thought we have fires off neurons in our brain. With each firing, we create stronger and more active neural networks that bring that particular thought pattern stronger into our perceived reality. As we condition our brain, through our thought processes, we develop neural “highways” or “pathways,” that become stronger and more vibrant with use (with each re-occurring thought). Just as rushing water continually widens and deepens a stream, eventually becoming a powerful river, thoughts that keep firing neurons become stronger and more frequent. The good news is that we can weaken the neural networks by starving them of their life force—thoughts. Just as a damn will eventually dry up a river, changing our thoughts will kill off negative neural networks.

Example #2: My kitchen is small yet functional and cozy. I share time in it with my family. I cook delicious healthy meals. Friends join us as we share love, laughter and nutritious fresh foods. I enjoy holding holiday gatherings in my space, and it has become a communal area that not only feeds my physical hunger but my emotional needs as well. If one day I am fortunate enough to have an updated and larger kitchen, I will welcome it into my life. I know that through my practice of being grateful for what I have, I will know how to not only make my kitchen a workspace, but a home and hearth. This is an example of shifting from limited language to the language of possibilities, hope and gratefulness.

The first example demonstrates how scarcity thinking brings about more scarcity. The second example demonstrates how abundance thinking brings about more abundance. From a foundation of gratitude, we have more energy, motivation and focus to achieve great things. If we want to shift our psyches and our mental attitudes toward gratefulness and happiness, we must consciously feed our brains positive information.

Michele Wahlder is the founder of Life Possibilities, a life & career coach and the author of Alphatudes: The Alphabet of Gratitude—26 Solutions for Life’s Little Challenges.

Learn more about Michele at www.alphatudes.com and www.lifepossibilities.com.

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