HOW Do I Recover?HOW Do I Recover? By Ned Wicker It’s the most common question we receive, and I am sure others receive – “How do I recover?” It’s fascinating to me that embedded in the question is the key to unlocking the answer. “HOW” do I recover? “HOW” stands for HONESTY, OPENNESS and WILLINGNESS. Let’s examine each of these components and apply them to recovery. As children we are often told that, “Honesty is the best policy,” and those words of wisdom from our parents are vitally important in making the first step in recovery. The person with the problem is likely to be the last one in the room to admit it, and therefore the notion of honesty is put on hold, because denial is the operative word in this case. Friends and family members can see the problem clearly, but the one with the disease of alcoholism, or the one abusing alcohol, or the problem drinker does not admit to having a problem with alcohol. If there is no problem, there is no solution necessary. The wisdom of Step 1 comes into play. “We admitted…” There is ownership in the first two words of the step, and to successfully go through Step 1, a person must come to grips with his/her problem. The confession continues with the definition of the problem, “…we were powerless over alcohol…” And the statement ends with acknowledgement of the effects of the alcohol, “…that our lives had become unmanageable.” Once a person accepts responsibility for having the disease and understands that he/she has a problem that needs a solution, they can move forward. Openness is an interesting concept. Let’s face it, we are all individuals who like to do things our own way, in our own time. We like to have control over our situations, and there is the classic conflict between a person in need and the person who is trying to help. Even if we know we need help, we may not want the help that is offered. There is a wonderful Old Testament story from the Book of Exodus about the Israelites being given the opportunity to receive God’s commandments from God Himself. They made all the necessary preparations, went to the foot of the mountain and God spoke to them, but not in the way many of them wanted to hear. Those who were open to the voice of God heard the message gladly; those who were not were left cowering and terrified. In recovery, openness is important because it affords us the option of multiple possibilities. We are not asked to blindly go in a different direction, but to openly consider a possibility. Step 2 speaks of the process of becoming open. “We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Focus on the beginning of this step, “We came to believe…” As we allow alternative possibilities, our plan begins to take shape. The “Power greater than ourselves” suggests that something outside of ourselves is necessary to supply the support and do the heavy lifting. And we also understand that the power “could restores us to sanity.” Who does the restoring? Is it us? No, it is the Power greater than ourselves. Willingness is another difficult component of HOW. Many people may come to the place in their lives that they WANT recovery to happen, but are they WILLING to do their part and allow the process to unfold? I coach freshman football at our local high school. We teach the fundamentals, but we ask each player to understand the difference between wanting to win football games and being willing to do what it takes to win football games. Game day will take care of itself, but practice is what makes or breaks teams. Players need to do their conditioning, their individual drills, learn the system and learn to be a team. Players who are willing are the ones I put in the lineup. Even a player with solid athletic ability may not play unless he has the willingness to prepare. Willingness implies “letting go” and surrendering to that “Power greater than ourselves.” The third step sates, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.” In the previous step we understand that the “Power greater than ourselves” was the one doing the restoring, but in this step, we are moving towards a relationship. For many, that “power” is God. Here’s an important question to ask, “Am I willing to let God take care of me?” Going from willing to doing requires action. “Made a decision” suggests that the direction has been set and we are willing “to turn our will and our lives over the CARE of God, as we understand Him.” Consider first “our will” which is our own means of self-determination. We made a decision, we surrendered, we are taking ownership of our side of the relationship. Who does the caring? It is God. So, it is God who restores us to sanity and God who cares for us. Our part is believing that God will restore and care, and allowing Him to work in our lives. How can I recover? Be honest, open and willing. Remember that God uses people do accomplish his ends, so those who are providing therapy, or counseling or medical care, as well as those who are there to love you and encourage you, are all a part of the plan. God will do the orchestration, so just allow Him to conduct the symphony. For more on HOW Do I Recover? click for Intervention HOW Do I Recover HOW Do I Recover HOW Do I Recover HOW Do I Recover HOW Do I Recover HOW Do I Recover HOW TO USE THIS SITE:This site contains five MAIN pages that EVERYONE should read: RECOVERY… Yourself... Your Family... Your Friends... Your Community... The rest of the pages are there for your reference to explain important topics in more detail.  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