Drinking Problem

Me Responsible? You are kidding!

It’s like an argument between a husband and wife. There is a disagreement, points are made, the yelling starts and then, somewhere down the line, one of them or both lose track of what the argument is about.

That is the way I see recovery from alcoholism and a drinking problem. It doesn’t matter who started the argument, the primary concern is to end it.

When someone is in trouble and need alcoholism treatment, there is always plenty of blame to go around. There are always the accusatory questions. “Why did you let this go so far…” “If only you didn’t…” “Can’t you just once control yourself…”

Parents blame each other for allowing their son to drink wine on Thanksgiving. One parent blames the other because their daughter is hanging out with the wrong crowd. Usually the accusatory questions are designed to get the accuser off the hook for any responsibility. It’s not about the person who is in trouble, who needs alcoholism treatment, instead it’s about them.

Alcoholism treatment for a drinking problem isn’t just about an individual; it’s about the group. Families have to deal with it, co-workers have to deal with it, and communities have to deal with it. By the time everybody has finished finger pointing, nothing has been done to help. The American way seems to be playing the role of the victim.

Something isn’t right, so somebody else has to be wrong. Families have to go through the tunnel just as the alcoholics do. Once the blame game ends, the healing can begin by family members understanding the family systems component to a drinking problem. Instead of blame for others, why not ask simply, “What is my part in this?”

Groups like Al-Anon are vitally important because they work with the family dynamics of alcohol addiction. I bring this up because my family was deeply harmed by a drinking problem. My mother suffered with it, although I am sure I would get an argument about this, mainly because one just doesn’t admit that their mother was an alcoholic. I was always criticized for being “reactionary.”

However, families get into “denial mode” and they do nothing more than enable to sick person. Occasionally in our house there was a discussion about my mother’s drinking, but never any action to help. We were all responsible for what we did as individuals and as a family. It isn’t about blaming somebody for the problem; it’s about finding a solution. Al-Anon is designed for that and they do a splendid job in reaching out and helping families.

Family members need to be educated and trained. As a family, we didn’t know how to handle my mother’s drinking addiction. We were trying hard to be “above it all” and seldom, if ever, was there a meaningful discussion about it. My mother never received any help. People talk about giving “tough love” in these situations. There wasn’t any tough love, because we didn’t know what to do.

What can you do? If you are in the situation I was in, with a family member in trouble, get smart and get help. Al-Anon is equipped to equip you. They have the knowledge and will help you make the right moves to be of help, rather than be an enabler. You can also find a drug and alcohol center in your area and call them. Think of it this way, the treatment center helps the one you love, Al-Anon helps you.

Don’t argue. Don’t point the finger at each other. It doesn’t help.

For more Drinking Problem click for Intervention

HOW TO USE THIS SITE:

This site contains five MAIN pages that EVERYONE should read:

ABOUT…

SYMPTOMS…

CAUSES…

TREATMENT…

RECOVERY…

Read these five pages and learn what you need to know to spot alcoholism in:

Yourself... Your Family... Your Friends... Your Community...

The rest of the pages are there for your reference to explain important topics in more detail.

Finally don’t miss the Spiritual and 12-step sections to fully explore how understanding THE SPIRIT can lead to recovery!

You Can Be ADDICTION FREE FOREVER!