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Do parents have to go to Al-Anon meetings?

by RM

Hello ,
I have a son who is in rehab for alcohol for the third time. He seems to be doing well this time. He is choosing to live in another state and wants to keep in touch as little as possible.

As his mother, this is difficult for me to accept but I want to do what is best for him. I have attended Al-Anon and not found it helpful–only more depressing.

I have a very strong faith and find strength through that.

My son is hurt that his dad and I aren’t attending Al-Anon. Any suggestions?

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Do parents have to go to Al-Anon meetings?

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Ask if his sponsor agrees?
by: Joe Herzanek

Hi RM,

I would ask your son where he came up with the idea that you must attend meetings? You could if you felt a need for a therapy group but it is not written anywhere that you must.

Ask him if his sponsor agrees with him about this. (If so, he should look for another sponsor). I?m 31 years clean and sober and I haven?t read anything that REQUIRES family members to attend groups.

It may be helpful but is optional.

It?s like the patient/recovering person telling the healthy person how to get well. If anybody needs to cut anybody some slack it should be the other way around.

He will mature over time.

All the best, Joe

Thanks for quick response
by: RM

Dear Joe,

Thank you for responding so quickly.

I am willing to try again and have wanted to attend an open AA meeting , so I will look into doing that. My husband and I understand that he will feel more supported if we go, but isn?t Al-Anon for us?

We don't feel responsible or blame ourselves in any way for his choices. He is 27 and grew up in a loving supportive Christian home. His choices have been his and he owns up to them.

His fiance lives near us and has been close to us for 5 years. She attends our Bible study class in our home. However, we received an email telling us she can?t be around us unless we attend Al-Anon and work the program! We were hurt and are confused by this and wondering if they are being guided to separate from the family.

I love my son with all that I am and although it is very painful to be away from him and not talk to him it saddens me to no end. However, knowing he is working on getting healthy and staying sober is all I can ask for right now.

I lost my mother this past summer, my daughter married and moved away and so did my son. I am currently looking for a counselor to help me with all of this loss in my life and understanding my son?s addiction.

Sincerely,
RM

Good meetings sometimes hard to find
by: Joe Herzanek

Dear RM,

It can be a challenge to find a good Al-Anon group but well worth it if you do.

You might also find it helpful to attend an occasional Open AA meeting.

There is lots to learn there. Maybe it will help your son to see you want to be more involved with his life. Anything that will encourage him is great.

Strong faith is a wonderful asset (-:

Blessings, Joe

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Do parents have to go to Al-Anon meetings?

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Do parents have to go to Al-Anon meetings?

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Do parents have to go to Al-Anon meetings?

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