Hi Joe, my husband is an alcoholic and in denial.
by MR
(Ohio)
Hi Joe,
My husband (40 years old) of 16 years has been drinking for at least 20 years. He drinks alone and I had to separate from him 5 months ago.
His drinking has gradually gotten worse over the years, and I finally had to leave for the safety of my children and myself. We are going to a psychologist together who happens to be very familiar/experienced with addiction. I am not seeing any changes and I am not sure how to proceed.
I origianally filed for a legal separation and then post poned it, believing that my husband had the needed wake up call, but then he returned to drinking and my separation attempt has turned into a vacation for him. My family is begging me to divorce him, but with God's guidance, love, and strength, I will follow whatever means necessary to help him.
I am afraid to place my children back into the family home at this point, but need financial support to remain separated. My husband is drinking so much that he has not been paying child support and I only work part time.
He says that if I file for support, that he will divorce me. He has a spiritual depth that seems like it is buried. He is extremely mean, cruel, and selfish-but I know that this is not him, although he claims that "drinking is who I am. It is me and I plan on drinking if I wish."
My parents have helped me and are disgusted with my indecision. I realize that I am codependent and this site has been the most promising information that I've seen. My husband does not make promises to me that he'll quit and he did quit at one time on his own will-but relapsed with his family.
I just need a game plan for myself to follow with God's help. Do we have a chance? Can my husband be saved? No DUIs and he functions at work, but his pattern is missing a day of work weekly and biweekly.
He has health problems such as hypertension and depression. He drinks, abuses those around him, then he gets sick, and then begins the next week. He mainly drinks beer alone-one after the other-I know that I am not supposed to count, but, he drinks about 12 to 15 per day and more on the weekends.
Last relapse was the ole "I've been good, now here is my reward. I don't need treatment or AA, I can do this on my own."
