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Husband going to AA?

by Andrea
(Washington)




My husband started a alcoholics anonymous program for his alcoholic abuse in March of this yr. He attends Tuesday nights, and Saturday mornings.

We almost split up because of it but he took the steps to do it. I still do not trust him because 4 months isn't nothin. He only drank when I went to visit our grandkids.

He has gone with me before and this June and he wanted to go.

My question is I will be going to visit again for almost 2 weeks, he is going with me for a few days then i will stay there to visit. I'm so afraid he will drink like he always does when I'm gone. He never drinks when I'm here, and I don't think he will call anyone on his list.

He lied to me all the time, and I already asked him to make sure to call his sponsors if he wants a drink, and I don't think he will. Should I call them and tell them I'm afraid he will and they can check on him?

He is a smooth talker, and he says I will be fine, it will be okay, but i have heard that before.

Please give me some advice on what to do.

Sincerely Andrea




Comments for
Husband going to AA?

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Inspect What You Expect
by: Ned Wicker

Dear Andrea,

You want to trust him, but history tells you not to and that's a common problem.

You expect him not to drink.

You expect him to call his sponsor.

You expect him to go to his meetings.

Now you will have to INSPECT what you expect. Set up a way of checking up on him and make sure he knows that you are going to do this. Before you leave, maybe you can have a few conversations and get some people to help out. Ask him if you can call his sponsor for support.


Call Al-Anon and get some support for yourself. It's tough going it alone, so having a sympathetic ear and wise counsel is always an advantage.

I realize it must sound silly to go through all of this, mainly because he isn't 10 years-old, but the alcoholic mind reasons like a 10 year-old, so this is necessary. Inspect what you expect.

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