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Son Still Has A Lot Of Anger?

by Traci
(San Antonio, TX)




Dear Joe,

Your book “Why Don’t They JUST QUIT?” was very helpful. My son, (who is 16) was in serious danger with drinking and drugs. He was not doing well in school, criminal behavior, withdrawn from the family, and very, very angry with me.

The final straw was when he got arrested for possession of pot and continued to use, fight and be angry with me. I sent him to a residential treatment center. He has done amazingly well there and have gone to visit him several times.

He will be returning home this Thursday-coming home to the same friends & environment. Any advice? I know he still holds a lot of past anger with me.

Traci (San Antonio, TX)




Comments for
Son Still Has A Lot Of Anger?

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You did the right thing!
by: Joe Herzanek

You have done the right thing putting him into rehab. Just the same it will be a very difficult transition for him back to school life and other teens. Alcohol and other substances, like smoking pot, are very common for that age group. I'm sure this is not new information.

Don't be shocked if he decides to "test the water again" so to speak. If so, just continue to encourage him to get back to using the skills he's learned while in treatment and keep trying. You have caught this very early.

A temporary relocation would help if that is a possibility. Keeping him very busy will also be a good idea as well. Strongly encourage and support any positive things he may be interested in.

Another option would be to find a mentor/sponsor for him, someone a little older (20ish) that will come alongside and encourage him. The right person could make all the difference in the world. He is not likely to be open and honest talking about the challenges he has with "mom or dad."

I don't know if you are connected with a church at all but some of the larger ones have youth group leaders that might be able to help find a mentor. There are other organizations as well that can be of assistance.

Lastly, keep in mind his age. This is a tough time for many kids under the best of circumstances. Try not to expect anything close to perfection. This is the beginning of a long journey. Some things just take time. Seek wise counsel for yourself during this process. Let me know how it goes from time to time.

Regards,
Joe

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